moments of my days

today while i was sitting, my heart broke open and i was filled with love. jesus christ superstar, i wouldnt know words to describe how intense but also how natural that felt. within seconds i was shedding silent tears until i calmed down and went back to counting my breaths. and then it just happened a second time! i had been doing this heart-opening gesture for a few weeks now so maybe i was just inviting this to happen, and i knew this is something i need to do right about now... after my heart-opening, I still had maybe another 20 mins until my timer would go off... although i must admit i was really tempted to get up already because i thought, well, after these two experiences, what else can i get out of this sitting? it would be almost greedy to continue, and i can spare myself the numbness of the legs. but dilligent as i try to be i continued and well, i was "rewarded" again, and after a while i felt like i was expanding or maybe melting into my room.

yesterday i originally had my guitar lesson and then my singing class. my singing class was cancelled so i spontaneously went to dinner with a friend instead. on my way to meet her i was so happy. i had had a great guitar lesson and it was so sunny and warm and everything was happy and full of contentness.

i was humming away amazing grace as i walked the streets and took the tram to our meeting point. some people were giving me strange looks and i suppose it was because i was singing and not because of my undone hair. i realised that obviously nowadays it is seen as normal to hum and head bang away to your ipod or mp3 player, or if you sing or perform for coins on the street or even if you talk to an invisible headphone in your ear... but someone who is simply happy and is enjoying this amazing sunny afternoon turning into a balmy summer announcing night, is considered rather weird and given weird looks. well you didn't think i would let the looks bother me, did you, i continued my singing and my smiling, trying to give the people feelings that this is ok, no need to feel uncomfortable. then the situation got better and only then did i notice this boy, around 8 or 9, who was right in front of me and looking at me and listening to my song and smiling at me. and then i smiled back and sang just for him and knew my song had been worth it all the way - and the evening with my friend was beyond lovely, too